The whole suicide issuePosted by DaveNYC on September 20, 19104 at 15:41:46:
The whole issue of someone with a disability committing suicide specifically because of the disability is a loaded and troubling one. It brings up the whole idea that life is not worth living for the disabled. After my accident, several people said (not to my face of course) "If that had happened to me, I'd kill myself." It was very upsetting to hear that...but I knew it was not something I would ever do. I was busy thanking the powers-that-be that I'd survived, and that I hadn't been more severely disabled. And yet there are quadriplegics who love life (I've even heard of one who skydives), while the majority of suicides are of course able-bodied, and usually young and strong to boot (the suicide rate is slightly higher for the disabled, but not by much). I experience plenty of self-pity, but in fact that's my personality...I did enough of that before the accident. How people face tragedy is a very personal thing, and we all do it somewhat differently. Quite honestly the breakup of my marriage (which was falling apart before my accident) has affected me more deeply than the loss of a limb. I think we should never judge those who find life so unbearable that they feel they have no choice but to end it; we also must understand that their choice has more to do with who they are and how they cope than with the specifics of their situation. Often, it's also a question of brain chemistry and clinical depression. You have someone like Max Cleland, who's found plenty to live for and has made a positive impact on this world after losing 3 limbs in Vietnam, yet I've met people who've spent years living on disability, drunk and going nowhere, in the face of relatively minor back ailments and such. Here in New York City, I pass amputees begging on the street on a weekly basis, but I realize that they are not on the streets *because* they are amputees...but rather because of how they have dealt with life, and how life has dealt with them. Mark's suicide was undeniably tragic, but while he may have pinned the blame on limb loss, clearly it lies elsewhere. Being an amputee *is* hard, and it's sometimes off-putting to read excessively optimistic, possibly self-aggrandizing "success" stories at times. I'm still plagued by a great deal of anger, resentment, bitterness and jealousy of those who have what I feel I lack (limbwise and otherwise), but I'm working on it in therapy. I read a post a long time ago here that stated "being an amputee isn't the best thing that can happen to you, but it's not the worst either." Most people deal with whatever is thrown in front of them as best they can. Others, sadly, are unable to do so, and we should not judge them for it.
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